Sunday, November 2, 2008

another ugh.

i am embarassed by my holes
the void
my emotional deficiencies
my inability
what i lack
embarassed by my posture
sinking so low
my low self esteem
or NO self esteem
what happened to the confident brown skin lady with the fro?
the one who was in the mix of everything
she is gone.
how does she come back?
i am tired of running from everything. everyone. myself.
i want to stop.

I can’t do this
I’m too bent out of shape to keep pushin
They keep asking me to give
But how can I lend what I don’t own?
Emotionally void
I am a misfit
A portion of the world that does not exist
A mere myth
I do not exist
I play not secondary
But nothing string
I watch the music begin and the actors glide across stage
And I sigh.
I hate theatre.
I hate life.
i hate myself.
i hate everything and everyone.

i am so tired of being sad and being jacked up and being tired.

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